They have a saying in New Hampshire, “TGFI” (Thank God For Iowa). They know as long as we go first in the Presidential voting system, they’ll look like Einstein. Iowa sets the bar so low the pressure is off for them. This year especially the mood was high. When it took Iowa a week to tally a 2 hour result, they were absolutely giddy. Staffers at Election Headquarters in Manchester were doing ‘High Fives’ with loud exclamations of “Yes!” when they saw how easy it was going to be for them. It would be like falling off a ballot box thanks to the Tall Corn State. Sounds of “Happy Days Are Here Again” filled the hallways.

They saw they could go “full Iowan” and not get the election results in until 1 am and still look like geniuses compared to Iowa. For some reason New Hampshire has always been so good at the whole ‘counting thing’ (rumor has it they don’t even have to take their shoes off). Them and their fancy counting tricks, they probably have special school funding that turns out these math whiz’s. Just because their knuckles are smooth and not scarred up, they think they’re so smart. Hell, I hear the horses there can count to 10. That NH Governor better be sending flowers to Gov Kim Reynolds after the gift we gave them. Hell, they could take until 2 am and CNN would be blowing them kisses.

[Just to rub it in those bastards already have results pouring in from 3 small New Hampshire towns. Dixville Notch, Millsfield and Hart. And its not even daylight yet! On Tuesday, let alone midnight! Witchcraft.]