Category Archives: Movies

The Jazz Singer

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Not one of the numerous remakes, but the Jazz Singer (1927). I had never seen it. I was aware of it from cultural references, and the fact TCM loves to talk about it. From the discussions on TCM my only take away was that the jazz singer as part of his schtick was to dress up in blackface and make fun of black people. That wasn’t the impression I got at all. To me it was more about having to hide himself from his repressive and domineering Father, who was an Orthodox zealot that wanted his son to follow in his footsteps as a ‘cantor’ (synagogue singer).

The movie shows part of his childhood, how young Jakie Rabinowitz was born to sing and had show business in his blood. I actually found the 13 year old Jakie played by Robert Gordon to be much more appealing, talented and innovative. His dance moves and singing voice were quite interesting (he was doing a Michael Jackson thing with his shoulders and a kind of ‘moon’ walking). The movie was groundbreaking in that sense as the first “talkie”. Much of it was still a silent film, but the singing parts at least had sound (I didn’t watch every second as a rapt student of the film). Gordon is someone you actually want to know more about. About the only blurb in his bio was about his affair while married with Allison Hayes (Attack of the 50 Foot Tall Woman). Which is ironic as its her character in the movie who goes on a 5 story rampage against her philandering husband.

A character in the film was played by Warner Oland, who played either Charlie Chan or another Chinese character in “oriental” makeup over a dozen times! That’s an aspect of Hollywood that doesn’t get talked about near as much as the blackface history! But like I say, one of the few good things that can be said of Al Jolson’s portrayal of his character in blackface was that he did not seem to using it as a punchline or as an opportunity to make fun or demean black people at all.

I just didn’t like the film because I don’t like Al Jolson. He just strikes me as a self aggrandizing ham. In his IMDB bio they mention every other line that he ” ‘The World’s Greatest Entertainer’ for well over 40 years”. The popular phase of his movie career was about 5 years. And his stage performances couldn’t have been seen by more than 3 percent of the countries population, so it seems a bit of a stretch to call him “the world’s greatest for over 40 years”, to me anyway.

Shake it, shake it, shake it, baby now!

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Great rendition of the Beatle’s classic ‘Twist & Shout’ from the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

This year will be the 35th anniversary of the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (spellcheck doesn’t like ‘Bueller’). It taught the important lesson that if you are a spoiled brat and you want to do something, you should. Director John Hughes made fun movies, even if they didn’t make a lot of sense. AMC is playing it repeatedly, evidently its one of their “movies of the month”. But that’s all it is, a fun movie. The hip, cool kids putting one over on the evil principal. Yet we are told its a “great” movie by the industry, yeah? I don’t see it myself.

In 2010 a British movie called The King’s Speech came out. Quite popular. But was it worth 12 Oscar nominations? And 8 wins? I don’t know about that. I have the theory that mediocrity is being heralded as greatness to cover-up for the shortcomings of the movie industry (its interesting we say ‘industry’ and not ‘art world’). I often use the example of the classic 1971 song American Pie. Its a good song, but is it a ‘great’ song? Does it really deserve the reverent mysticism it receives with critics? I question that.

I’ll try to put this diplomatically, I think there’s a lot of lame shit out there. I guess I see a lot of overpaid people of limited talent and creativity. They seem to think because of this they have a soapbox from which to tell us how to run the country and our lives. I suppose I resist that. They can’t run Hollywood right, and they want to run the world? I apologize for this oft repeated lament. But as I think back over the past 20 years I cannot think of 1 memorable U.S. made movie. Can you?

[I stand corrected, The Passion of the Christ, 2004. The Patriot is now over 21 years old, 2000, so I was right there. As was Saving Private Ryan, 1998. Okay, 1 memorable movie in 20 years.]

The also ran’s!

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My incredibly insightful 10 Most Beautiful Women of various decades series of posts has turned out to be surprisingly popular. Who knew men liked to look at beautiful women eh? It occurred to me how odd it was some of the women I didn’t choose. And I don’t regret my choices either. Although I did experience a twinge of self doubt (for a moment anyway) the other day when I saw a news clip on Barbi Benton. She was a “big deal” back in the seventies, I tell you what. She did Playboy, Love Boat, and probably Hugh Hefner too. Its that blurry line confusing beauty with sexiness. I had titled all the posts “The 10 Most Beautiful”, I realized later that wasn’t it at all. What I had chosen were the women I considered the sexiest or the nicest. That’s a little more abstract than the “most beautiful”.

Then I started thinking of some of the others. My memory goes back to the late sixties on this. A friend and I were quite taken with his dad’s poster of Raquel Welch in a fur bikini from 1,000,000 Years B.C.! We weren’t real sure why we liked her, we just did. Then there was Loni Anderson, Suzanne Sommers, and others. Ones I found out later were popular with some guys that left me scratching my head like Karen Valentine. Tina Louise was another one. Donna Douglas. The hillbilly version of Lawrence Welk, Hee Haw, had some very beautiful women.

Going back a few years before that era were a bunch that left me going, “What?” Audrey Hepburn, Kim Novak, Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Sophia Loren, they had all the right parts in all the right places, there was just something else missing. A lot of it was you knew you were being manipulated by the studios. They held their contracts so it was in their interest to create this aura of attractiveness, whether it was really there or not. Another one from more modern times that was just huge, was Vanna White. Looking back on it now you’re going what was that all about? I can’t explain it, but I know it happened.

[Case in point: 5 time Playboy model Carmen Electra. Absolutely no sex appeal. Then it hit me, I’ve never known of a Playboy model who was.]

Barbi Benton

Loni Anderson

Suzanne Somers

Donna Douglas

Tina Louise

Maureen McCormick

Karen Valentine

LOS ANGELES – 1987: Actress Vanna White poses for a portrait in 1987 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Harry Langdon/Getty Images)
Raquel Welch

For real fun, try to picture the one that rolls out of bed looking like a million bucks? Without the makeup, the lighting or the wardrobe.

Nancy Sinatra – this commie som bitch hates Trumpers! That’s okay, we hate you too.

Cowboys vs Dinosaurs

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Why have guns if you are afraid to shoot them?

Right before this Comet TV had Cowboys vs Vampires, I’m sensing a trend here. I had always thought Ray Milland in the 1972 classic ‘Frogs‘ was the worst movie ever made. I think I was wrong. Sure there are those fancy movies with budgets and name actors, but! There’s one thing they ain’t got! An original story. As an example I’ve long railed about CBS’s lineup, remakes from 35 years ago: Magnum PI, MacGyver, Hawaii 5-0. Now they even have one more remake! Walker Texas Ranger. I am not shitting you. But I’ve noticed on Comet and the Sci-Fi channel they have original scripts. There’s a lot to be said for that.

Plus, even the reruns on that channel were original for their time. Shows like the Twilight Zone and Outer Limits. A few years after those shows was another original, Star Trek. A couple of years after that was Star Wars (the first was original anyway). I was channel flipping last night and it hit me the 70s were the decade of the cop show/detective show. Barney Miller, Kojak, Starsky & Hutch, Baretta, Toma, Canon, Barnaby Jones, Adam-12, Mod Squad, Rookies, Ironside, Rockford Files. Even worse, I just realized they’re still that way! And even going back over the years. And all their spinoffs! I don’t even know how many versions there are of them. The NCIS’s, Law and Orders…

Its similar to what I started to discover going to film festivals the past dozen years. A 16 yr old with a Hand-i-cam generally has more creativity and originality than all the million dollar babies in Hollywood. I don’t know, I can’t nail it down exactly. I’ve just got the sneaking feeling Americans have wasted a lot of money on movies, and a lot of time on TV, for some really substandard crap. And whether its ones like the Shark-nado series or these Cowboy vs ones, the CGI is pathetic. Sophomoric.

Cable wars!

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Oh my gawd no ABC! They didn’t reach an agreement with the local cable provider Mediacom by January 1, so we don’t have them! Any day now we are likely to find someone who cares. Its a given there’s nothing on channel 5 (ABC in central Iowa), How about 5.3, Grit? The western channel? Not unless you like commercials, they put an 87 minute movie in a 2 1/2 hour time slot. I have literally seen them on a 6/4 split, 6 minutes of show to 4 minutes of commercials. I cannot tell you the name of a single show on ABC.

In late December the NBC affiliate channel 13 was going through this with Dish Network. Evidently they reached an agreement. The closest thing they have to something I want to see is on their retro channel, 13.3. And that’s only 2 half hour shows! My gawd cable TV is a wasteland. I refuse to watch any channel that has more that 8 minutes of commercials in a half hour, so that pretty much eliminates your network channels and the USA?AMC/Insp/A&E/TV Land and Hallmark type channels. Basically I’m left with Turner Classic Movies and the Weather Channel.

If they think I give a rip about their contractual tug of war, they’re nuts. I got the TV Key Antenna as shown on TV! I don’t need their crap. [All you have to do is go to Zap 2 It TV listings to see all the channels that Ames, Iowa doesn’t have because Mediacom is so pitiful.]

A Charlie Brown Christmas

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The opening scene from the 1965 classic

My favorite special. And the only one that mentions the point of Christmas. The artwork I thought was simply wonderful. This and the Halloween Special kept the original crew together that knocked it out of the park. I watched the Thanksgiving Special again on Christmas Day. The graphics again were very good, though maybe dropped off just a bit. I think the voice actors dropped off some too, maybe a little ‘professional’. But the first one, the Christmas Special, was running on all cylinders. The Vince Guaraldi score, the “graphic blandishment”, the voice actors, the storyline. That’s where the Thanksgiving Special fell off some, they wrapped it up strong, but it had a weak middle. Snoopy and Woodstock were possibly the strongest segment. In the Christmas Special the voice actors are what standout to me. Charles Schultz had to fight to get children instead of adult voice overs. The weakest link for me was at the play rehearsal when the dance scenes went on too long. The sad part is this year it was not shown on TV. And when it is, it is criminal the amount they cut off the original 25 minutes to insert additional commercials.

Charlie Brown explaining to Linus he’s just not feeling it this year, the “Christmas spirit”
Charlie seeking advice from the local mental health professionals on his holiday depression
Lucy’s advice was to get involved as director of the play
“That’s what this play needs! Is a great big shiny aluminum Christmas Tree!
I never thought it was such a bad little tree

David L. Lander (Squiggy!)

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I saw recently where the man who played Squiggy on Laverne & Shirley died this month at the age of 73. Back when the show ran in the 70s I kind of blew Lenny and Squiggy off. Maybe even found them a little irritating. Now however watching them in reruns and “best of” clips on YouTube I really came to love the guy. His comedy aged really well. David himself was handed a struggle in 1984 when he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I read in one of his bios that he and Michael McKean had actually developed the Lenny and Squiggy idea while in college. Kind of an Abbott and Costello idea. It worked. I have no way of knowing, but looking back on it he seemed like a really decent man. David and Michael had a natural ability that maybe just isn’t seen anymore. His character was the underdog who kept plugging. Their schtick as in the series of clips above, was for the two of them to burst into a room and for Squiggy to let out the nasally, “Hello!” It would always be preceded by like Laverne and Shirley talking in their apartment and Laverne saying something along the lines of, “That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life!” Boom! Enter Lenny & Squiggy! Hello!

Christmas for a Dollar

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COZI TV (channel 5.4 in central Iowa) came through with a winner last night. The movie was set in the Great Depression somewhere in the Midwest or southern United States. It was made in 2013. Fascinating little storyline that kept you intrigued. Large family, momma just died, medical bills from little Billy’s polio. The requisite school bully, Mean Mrs. Olson, the bitter widder lady (widow). Nice low-key acting. Dude must a had 6 kids. The premise was Dad had $1 entire dollar to split amongst the family to buy Christmas presents for each other (a dime back then bought more than it does today). But the funny thing was what occurred to me when it was over. Hallmark couldn’t have done this one on their best day. They have their formula and they’re sticking to it. It can be done. No budget. No big names. Just a little imagination with the writing, a little location shooting, throw in a horse and a crippled boy and you got yourself a movie!

[The comparison is like the movie they are playing this moment on TCM: A Matter of Life and Death (1946). I’d call it sort of an ‘avantgarde’ film. An intriguing premise, since “heaven” messed up when this WW II bomber crew crashed, should he really be dead? Or should he be given a second chance at life? Made in London, which explains the freshness. Hollywood was stale from nearly its inception (they pretty much shot their wad by the end of the 1940’s). What it comes down to, is that many many people have been given many many dollars to turn out shit. Its just rather staggering to think how much no talent hacks have wasted. Hollywood couldn’t have done this film on its best day. And I believe the reason movies like this are never played, is that it makes Hollywood look so inept.]

8 1/2

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GARA (general aviation revitalization act) had the effect of keeping foreign competition out of the small aircraft business, thus assuring prices in America would remain jacked up for all eternity. Private ownership plummeted. Hollywood’s monopoly control of the movie industry in America assures them the same thing. Let’s see, does competition make things stronger or weaker?

America may be good at basketball and baseball, but they are horrible at automobile design and movies. Foreign competition killed our automotive industry. If the movie industry suffered a similar fate it would be more than timely. Long overdue as a matter of fact. TCM this morning happened to be playing this classic from nearly 60 years ago, 8 1/2. Federico Fellini’s masterpiece along with La Dolce Vita.

The IMDB page on it revealed a couple of interesting stats on it. 107,758 people gave it an aggregate score of 8.0 out of 10. Yeah? Okay, can’t argue with the wisdom of the crowd. The one I actually let out a laugh on was the worldwide gross: $188,000. The crap factory known as Hollywood regularly churns out pictures that pull in $100 million dollars plus!

The reviews on the film (at the IMDB page) are absolutely wonderful! What a gamut! One I really liked was from a Howard Schumann. He explains the psychological aspects of the film I wouldn’t have figured out in a million years. I fall in love with the visual aspects of film. I look at cinema for its eye appeal. In the scene at the moment a circus troupe is playing a bizarre tune while marching on the beach at dusk! I love it!

And I think that is where half the reviewers missed it. “Boring”, “Self-indulgent!”, “A waste of time”, “An artist with nothing to say”. All true, if you are unable to see film for what it is. Its not a book. Its not a machine. Its not an oil painting. It can’t be everything for everyone. Its a motion picture. Its a collection of words and images for that specific 2 hours of history. My point is that Italian, French, Indian, Japanese and other directors have done it much, much better than Hollywood. They keep out foreign competition for a reason. Survival.

The amazingly wonderful Claudia Cardinale

The visual feast that awaits in a Fellini movie

Hallmark’s Christmas Waltz

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Lacey Chabert and Will Kemp in Christmas Waltz

Hallmark’s Christmas Waltz premiered last night. Lacey Chabert and Will Kemp were paired once before in Love, Romance, and Chocolate (I kind of vaguely remember him as a Genovian Prince so it might be 3 times). IMDB had 1,175 people rate it for an average 6.8 out of 10. That seems a little generous to me, okay a lot generous. I gave it a 5 of 10, and that’s generous. I remember watching how it ended last night and thinking, “That’s the dumbest climax I’ve ever seen.” (and this is from someone who thinks L Chabert is the most desirable woman in the world) You have to know Hallmark. Their formula is to have two people meet, hate each other for 90 minutes, discover they love each other for 20 minutes, then have an argument at 10 till the hour when they go to commercial, come back, resolve it and kiss promptly at 8:59. Roll credits.

The night before , 5 Star Christmas was a breakthrough of sorts for them. It actually had something of an entertaining plot and the thoroughly enjoyable Victor Webster. The wild and crazy retired Dad has started up a B&B with shaky results, so the whole family decides to take on the role of employees and false identities. Laughter and hijinks ensue. (Oh my God I just discovered there were 535 Hallmark movies) They all have the same formula, and about 10 overcome them with incredible chemistry or good writing. That leaves about 525 bad ones.

Its the formula that bothers me, why would you do that? You’re supposed to be a professional production unit, and every movie is the same? I just don’t get that. You just change sets and insert different actors. It doesn’t stretch them, it doesn’t stretch the directors, nobody grows. I can name the ones that standout. Love in Paradise with Luke Perry. A Country Wedding with Jesse Metcalfe and Autumn Reeser. There was one I haven’t been able to find the name of yet. It was were 2 childhood sweethearts when they were 10, meet 25 years later and don’t recognize each other. My Secret Valentine with Lacey Chabert and Andrew Walker.

I used to think any thing with Lacey Chabert in it was watchable. Not so much anymore. I see how they waste her. They’ve taken her to Africa, Italy, Belgium, England (Genovia), and they always manage to muck it up. Pairing her with these people like Will Kemp with no discernible chemistry. I don’t understand it. The Italy one really hurt, it had screen legend Franco Nero in a completely wasted part. It was like when TV shows went to Hawaii and were required by State Law to have Don Ho in the episode. When the chemistry is absent like that I don’t know who to blame. The writer? The director? The actors? That’s about the only ones I can think of. Mysteries bother me. I like to be able to figure things out.

Its strange how it works. Luke McFarlane, Brandon Penney, Tyler Hynes seem like so-so’s. But then my favorites like Victor Webster and Ryan Paevey can fail just as easily with the wrong women. Andrew Walker made Lacey’s best movie, never saw that coming. Maybe it is the actors? Luke Perry transcended it all. Or maybe its the directors fault for not holding out and demanding a good take? Who knows? But frankly, what Hallmark is doing is sealing their own fate. They’ve been doing the same formula for over 10 years. Lackluster writing for over 10 years. Uninspired acting for over 10 years. Don’t blame us when people quit watching.

Oh and how could I forget Paul Campbell and Hilarie Burton in Surprised by Love! That one makes me think its a group effort: writing, directing, acting. Yeah trying to figure out why 1 gem comes along after a dozen dogs will drive you crazy. (in this one Paul Campbell plays a very likeable character named ‘Gridley’. What makes 1 person likeable and another not?)